"Date a girl who reads but not someone who has strong opinions she must be educated but you must be smarter than she is, sleep with whomever you want but bring only the virgin home to mom, make sure she’s funny wild wacky but not too energetic not too loud, give her a dark side but only one that’s easily cured she’s got to love video games but you have to be better at them make sure she’s a writer make sure at least once you break a poet’s heart, it makes you immortal when she spills your history onto pages filled with her pain - be sure to call her insane to your friends, shake your head, wonder aloud what the fuck is wrong with her for loving someone, for loving you, drag her name through the mud just because she was stupid enough to believe everything you told her - make sure she has good fashion sense and tasteful makeup but isn’t obsessed with it just so you can show her off to your friends but at the same time be sure she’s still attractive in sweats measure her waist with your fingers to ensure she is skinny but only naturally so, don’t you know bones are for dogs but too many curves and she’s not good at all, feel free to make fun of her salads and yogurts and granola, disregard the idea that she’s doing this all for you and she wants to sit around and eat cake instead of impress you, make sure she has some kind of cause but never one that shouts too loud, a girl who likes art a girl who likes math a girl who likes anything just as long as it isn’t too much that’s just annoying, a girl who likes to cook and will take “get back in the kitchen” as a joke, who likes to clean but doesn’t mind your mess, who is calm but passionate but exercises good judgement but is willing to take a risk who wants kids but only when you suggest them who is practical but believes in magic who is gentle but fucks hard who is pious unless you are in private who bends her knees for god but also to suck your dick who responds to your every touch like she is made thoughtless by it but still has some kind of mysteriousness who is obedient but independent loving but hard to get caring but not clingy talented but willing to give up her passions for you - but no, don’t worry about who you are or how you act. She’ll change to please you. You don’t have to be a good husband, she will believe she has to be perfect no matter what happens. The only flaws she is allowed are tiny ones. Girls need to be capable, honest, needing. Who cares if a girl like this doesn’t exist. We’ll convince them all to read our requirements and make themselves fit."